Fatigue is real. What once was a quick easy bike ride becomes mountainous. My heart races. I need frequent rest breaks. My pace is defiantly slower. Times like this I feel a sense of loss for my old self. Frustration and guilt eat at me. I can't keep up or I slow everyone down. What once was am easy task of cleaning the house takes hours longer with lots of rest breaks. It all can feel a bit daunting. Sometimes I feel sad at the loss of the old me. Sad that I can't keep up. I was SO use to keeping a frantic pace. Working two jobs, running kids to all sorts of activities, and keeping house. I rarely sat still. But.....
I realize now that I missed out on little moments because of the frenzy. I was so busy being busy that forget to stop and enjoy everything that I was working so hard for.
Now, I live in the moments. I can create memories at a slower pace and totally enjoy it. So house cleaning takes extra time and my body is sore from simple cleaning. Fatigue is my co-pilot and I am not going to let him drive me into the ground. More baths, more sunsets, more rest breaks with a cute kitty sleeping on my lap. It is okay to be still.
I am in control and I am enough. Faith not Fear Choose Joy
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